Arguably, there’s not much to do in Finland. I suppose one could spend his day visiting all the beautiful fjords, but even that has to get old after a while. It’s situations like these that call for the invention of a sport like Eukonkanto.
But what, pray tell, is Eukonkanto. Well, the direct English translation is Wife Carrying: the name gives away about 90% of what you need to know for this sport. It actually started as a practical joke around 1996. Although seemingly silly, there is a specific set of rules that Eukonkanto contestants must abide by. For starters, the female partner of the team needs to weigh at least 49 kilos (about 110 lbs), if she doesn’t the judges will add weights to her to make her the minimum weight. Further, she has to be at least 17 and married. Oddly enough, she doesn’t need to be married to her carrier. Apparently the Finns are fine with letting their friends and neighbors carry their wives around like a bag of potatoes.
The course the Eukonkanto contestants have to run is quite challenging. The length of the track is 253.5 meters, it includes two sand obstacles and one water obstacle that is a meter deep. The winners of the event, on average, do the whole course in about a minute.
I know many of you may be worried about safety, but apparently the Finns aren’t. Although the men get to wear a weight belt, the only real protection the female contestant has is the 15-second penalty allotted to the team if her male carrier drops her. Well, I suppose the men may have the additional incentive to avoid the intense scolding that will inevitably come from nearly breaking your wife’s neck by dropping her.
Although the event is primarily conducted with one team completing all three obstacles, there’s also a relay event that features three men and one woman. At each different obstacle stage in the course, the men pass the women off to the next carrier and the fastest relay team wins. There is a catch, though, before the new guy can carry the wife, he’s required, by the rules, to drink a beer. Only then may he run with his female companion at a fast rate of speed over a dangerous course.
There are three categories a team may win in at the Eukonkanto championships. The first category is to be the best-costumed team. The second category is to perform the most entertaining, and stylish, carry. Typically these two winners receive a small award and a trophy. The way every man wants to win the competition is to be the fastest in carrying his female partner across all three obstacles. Why, you ask? It’s simple. If you’re the fastest team, you win the woman’s weight in top-notch Finnish beer. That’s right, you win a minimum of 110 lbs of beer.
Easy, though. Before you rush to Finland with your significat other to compete in the Sonkajärvi Championship, you should try your skills here in the U.S. first. The North American Wife Carrying Championships take place every year on Columbus Day in Newry, Maine. Monona, Wisconsin and Marquette, Michigan also host smaller Wife Carrying competitions. If you got a knack for the sport, make sure you have a valid passport and win 110 lbs of beer for America.
David is a 1L and can be reached at forum@valpo.edu.
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