The Forum

By: Danyel Robbins & Megan Flaherty, Advice from People who have Actually been in Relationships

We welcome any questions that anyone would like to submit.

1. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now but she lives back home which is a couple hours away. I love her to death but I also love this freedom I have here at school. I feel like I’m starting to doubt our relationship. What should I do? Can we really make it work while I’m in law school? From Loving from a Distance.

Of course you can make it work! And to be perfectly honest you should do everything in your power to make it work. The grass always seems greener on the other side and almost NEVER actually is. This freedom that you feel at school probably just means that you need to make sure you and your girlfriend still have your own “things.” Take time to go play basketball or hang out with the guys every once in a while and encourage her to do the same with her friends. If you and your girlfriend spend every waking moment together the walls will quickly close in on you. As for the hesitation you are having in your relationship right now, you can rest assured that you are probably making a mistake if you think you are going to find your soul mate in Valparaiso, Indiana. If you ever decided to date another law student it would probably only take a matter of weeks before you realized you wanted the person you really love back. It is absolutely possible to make things work long distance. You have to make sure you keep yourself focused on your school work during the week and keep yourself occupied in any down time with your good friends here. Make the extra effort to be with your girlfriend on the weekends and it will definitely be worth it in the end. That being said, only you know how you truly feel about your current girlfriend. If you do not see yourself being with her in the long run then there is no reason to drag things on and cause more heartache in the end. Good luck with this decision because it will affect the rest of your life!

2. I have been dating this guy for a few months but I am starting to become concerned about the fact that I feel like I am also dating his family. Does this guy have some sort of separation issue that he will get over or should I take this sign and head for the hills? From

The first thing you have to decide is if you are willing to date someone who is so close with their family. You have to remember that having a close family is probably all they know and it is not their fault. At the same time you are worried about how close your hunky new boyfriend is to his family, he is probably worried about how you are not. The door swings both ways. The main thing is that you both have to be willing to give and take. You have to understand that he is close to his family but he has to be understanding that at the end of the day he is dating you and may be marrying you, not his family. If this guy lives and dies by what his family says and always chooses them over you then that may be a sign that the relationship is not right for you guys. He has to realize that he will never be able to maintain a relationship if he doesn’t start putting the person he loves before everyone else. If you really care about this guy then sit him down and talk to him about it. All good things are worth waiting and fighting for. Be understanding, but be reasonable!

Xoxo
Aphrodite & Ares

Danyel and Megan are both 2Ls and can be reached at forum@valpo.edu

This entry was posted on Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at 9:19 am and is filed under 1-Ready for Editing, 2-Ready for Final Edit.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.