By Jon Kohlscheen

Commissioner David Stern of the National Basketball Association likes to claim that a new collective bargaining agreement featuring a 50-50 split of revenues between the owners and the players is essential for the long-term viability of the league. According to Stern, player salaries are ballooning and threaten to bring down the league. By reducing player salaries from 57% of Basketball-Related Income (BRI) to 50%, the players’ salaries will come more in line with where they need to be. And to most people observing the recent lockout, 50-50 just sounds like a pretty fair deal. What can be more fair than an even split?

But it isn’t fair. The players are justified in pursuing a lockout because they aren’t the problem, the owners are. Over the past 10 years, player salaries have gown at a near identical rate to overall league revenue, at approximately 24%. On the other hand, the average NBA team has become 79% more valuable to the owners over the same time period. So while the owner’s assets have been growing at a much faster rate than the overall league revenue, the players’ salaries have remained the same. If players’ salaries haven’t become a bigger slice of the overall pie, then is this players’ fault again?

Commissioner Stern is covering for owners who have simply can’t manage their own businesses. The worst part is that he is now demanding that the players, who have kept their end of the bargain, now bail out the owners who mismanaged the teams in the first place. The players have already agreed to reduce their share of revenue by 4.5%, which amounts to $2.2 billion over the 10-year life of the proposed collective bargaining agreement. But that isn’t enough for the owners. The owners won’t budge until the players reduce their own salaries by at least another 1.5%, or $702 million over 10 years. What have the owners offered? Nothing.

It is certainly understandable to criticize the NBA lockout and just ask for everybody to get along. The NBA lockout does hurt thousands of merchants and businesses. It also harms the fans. But it is simply unreasonable to expect the players to back down and hand over nearly $3 billion out of their pockets to a bunch of owners who couldn’t even manage their own teams when their value was rising. And all without a single concession by the owners. That’s not negotiation. That’s a shakedown.

When I first saw Susan Casey’s “The Wave” at the local bookstore, I was amused but not willing to part with the money the hardcover.  I temped when flipping through the pages finding photos of Mike Parsons riding down a seventy-five foot face at Cortes Banks and Laird Hamilton dropping in on Pe’ahi.  There is something awe inspiring to the exploits of the big wave surfers roving the globe from Teahupo’o to Mavericks to Pe’ahi.  Awe inspiring to watch, and watch alone for me; I know my limits and it was an overhead wave that thrashed me about for foolishly trying to carve into its face with my log.

I can’t say that I have any greater experience with the ocean compared to some people, but after mucking about surfing and having spent some time on the high seas staring out the bridge of a few warships, I’m not completely inexperienced with the tempest of the ocean.  From the vantage point I had clinging to the pelorus, large seas are seldom fun the first time around.  Especially on a frigate that tends to move in the x, y, and z axis in rough seas.  There is a slight unnerving twitch the first time in big seas when the ship gets caught in the trough; the ship seems to plummet down into a dark blue valley, and shudders violently hitting the bottom of the crest.  Rough seas at night are less fun; you point the bow into the winds and hope that some rouge wave doesn’t clobber you out of the darkness.

All of those Dramamine, sea-sickness, walking on the bulkheads memories rose up while reading “The Wave.”  Apart from the stories of the big wave surfers dropping in on massive sixty foot waves the big take away was the concerns that the oceans in the future will become much more violent in the coming years.  The most striking fear is that the melting glaciers, which dilute the salinity of the ocean and change its temperature, may also have adverse seismic implications for humans.  While most persons think a rise of a few inches of the ocean is just another meaningless statistic, it is that increase of a couple of inches of water over thousands of square miles of ocean resting on the plates of drifting on the planet’s mantle that is important.  With a greater mass resting on these plates, it may lead to greater and unanticipated movement; movement of these plates generally means seismic activity.  Seismic activity generally entails earthquakes, tsunamis, and increased volcanism.

Those are just a sampling of the concerns involving the changing nature of the planets oceans.  Coastline cities, oil rigs, low lying islands, the vast amount of commerce traveling on the sea lanes of the world (90% of all non-bulk cargo; e.g. iPhones and Toyotas) are at risk with oceans that could be roiling violently at a greater rate.  The connection between global warming and the increasing tempest of the oceans is a relevant issue that needs greater consideration.

What if the NBA season was cancelled and no one cared? That is what the NBA is finding out.  It may be just me but I could care less about the NBA regular season.  The NBA does not grab my attention until the playoffs.  The NBA has become a league that is watered down and there are only a handful of exciting teams to watch (Lakers, Bulls, Celtics, Heat, and the Magic to name a few).  I could go on and on but why not just have the marque teams play and we can

5.         Start following the LBL (Lingerie Basketball League)

It is probably more entertaining and they probably play better defense.

4.         Join your nearest Occupy Wall Street Protest

I heard there was one in Valpo the other day…..

3.         Start working on your networking to get better outlines.

Let’s be honest, the person next to you probably has a better one than you.

2.         Lend a hand

Volunteer your time and maybe we can collectively get the law school expansion project finally finished.

1.         Do exactly what you normally do because you don’t plan on watching the NBA anyway.

99% of fans will not lose any sleep over the fact that there is no season.  If you are in the 1% you probably had a Michael Jordan poster in your room and stopped watching when he retired.

We couldn’t make up some of these weird laws that are/were actually on the books. OK, so maybe Hollywood can. In the “Footloose” remake starring Julianne Hough, which opened in theaters last week, dancing and loud music are banned in the fictional town of Bomont, Ga. Reality isn’t so far off.

1. Get rid of those old city stickers.

Citizens can be hit with a $120 ticket for having an improperly displayed and outdated city sticker on their car.

2. No Pigeons.

It is illegal to import, sell, own or keep live pigeons in residential areas, as well as build or maintain any coop for the pigeons. Fines range from $100 to $1,000. Violators could be incarcerated for up to six months.

3. Don’t dye the chickies.

Nobody is allowed to sell or display chicks, ducklings, goslings or other fowl or rabbit that have been dyed an artificial color. Lawbreakers face a fine ranging from $50 to $200.

4. Clean your horse.

Horses used in horse-drawn carriages must be groomed daily, be given water and rest for at least a 15-minute period during each work hour; they also must wear a waste-catching device while on the public way. Fines range from $100 to $500

5. Hands off the streetcar.

Anyone younger than 18 can’t climb, jump upon, cling to or attach himself to any “streetcar, railroad locomotive” or car in motion. Offenders face a fine of $2 to $10, even though streetcars no longer exist.

6. It’s getting hot in here.

A law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

7. Go fly a kite.

Kites may not be flown in city limits.

8. Gone fishing?

Fishing while riding on a giraffe’s neck is illegal.

9. ZZZZZZZ…..

Fishing in your pajamas is illegal.

10. Nudity.

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall unless you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

11. Drunk as a …. dog?

It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.

12. Keep it in the porta-potty

It is illegal to urinate or defecate on any public way, on any outdoor public property or outdoor private property unless it’s a temporary or permanent structure erected outdoors for use as a toilet. Violators can face $100 to $500 in fines or five to 10 days in jail, or both.

Steven Cichon

1L

Following the Republican Presidential nomination battle can be tiring.  There are debates after debates after debates, each with the hope by the sponsors that some “game-changing” event is going to take place which puts the race into an exciting new direction and net them a lot of publicity.

The 2008 nomination battles were much more interesting because for the first time in a very long time the candidates for President were not an incumbent President or Vice President.  We saw Barack Obama prevail over Hillary Clinton in a long, epic brawl, and we saw John McCain, his campaign once left for dead, claw back up to become the GOP Presidential nominee.

To be sure, the debates have shaken up the Republican field.  I think part of the reason that Rick Perry has faded in the polls is that his poor debate performances have given voters the impression that he is not ready for prime time.  Herman Cain has vaulted up to second place in most polls behind Mitt Romney, and I think it has to do with his likeable personality and his ability to communicate and connect with voters.  He has since hit a rough spot since the other candidates have piled on in opposition to his “9-9-9″ flat tax plan, so only time will tell if he is a flavor of the month or a serious contender.  And through it all, Mitt Romney has seemed almost unflappable, projecting a Presidential image on the stage, and seems to do well deflecting constant attacks on his health care reform that he enacted in Massachusetts while he was governor there as well as his wishy-washiness on other issues.

But there are so. many. debates.  It is almost with relief that the Iowa caucuses are taking place at a very early January 3, 2012.  At least we will not have to watch any more debates.  But that presents another problem.  In 2008 Democrats in Michigan and Florida moved up their states’ primaries and were sanctioned by the DNC by not fully seating their delegates.   Florida has done the same thing for this year’s Republican primary, prompting states that traditionally have earlier primaries, Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina, to retaliate by moving their primaries up even further.

The constant barrage of ads, debates, news of primaries, scandals, and stories of the different candidates certainly get tiresome.  At least, if you devour politics like me.  However, that isn’t to say that there is no benefit.  By exposing candidates’ strengths and weaknesses early on, the Republican candidate who emerges the victor from the primary will be be stronger and seriously vetted, ready to take President Obama on.  All the candidates have issues that will present juicy negative news stories and fodder for ads by their opponent, but the earlier they have to start dealing with those issues, the better they will be prepared to deflect attacks.

Every election has people claiming that the election will be very decisive and seriously affect the future of the United States.  In 2012, I believe this claim is more true than most.  2008 was a default win for Barack Obama; he came to the stage at the time of a perfect storm which would have obliterated any Republican candidate, and enjoyed a Congress dominated by Democrats for the first two years of his term.  However, the 2010 midterms went decisively against him, giving the Republicans a huge win in the House of Representatives and cutting down on the Democrats’ majority in Senate.

2012 should settle, at least for the next four years, whether the directions that America want to take were entered into the GPS in 2008 or 2010.  2012 will be Obama’s first truly difficult general election.

We can disagree whether the Republicans or the Democrats have the better policy answers for the upcoming years.  We have serious debt problems that were aggravated by George W. Bush’s 8 years and exacerbated even more by Obama’s last 3 years.  The economy is not recovering the way it should.  Unemployment is high.  People are not positive for the future.  And to top it off, we have a huge wave of retiring baby boomers who are going to strain the entitlement programs even further (but maybe some of them are going to be retiring from the legal field).

Due to the problems I just mentioned, I hope you can agree with me that America deserves to have strong candidates to choose from in 2012.  The overabundance of Republican primary debates and earlier primaries will see to it that the Republican candidate will be well-positioned to take on President Obama.  What remains to be seen is what Obama will do to become a stronger candidate.

As Professor Dooley is fond of saying, what is the takeaway for this?  We will have a great Presidential election, featuring strong candidates, with serious issues to solve.  That can only be a good thing for the country.

Courtesy of AMC

It is rather surprising that another network didn’t attempt to bring a series of uber-successful graphic novels to life in the television format sooner but give credit to AMC. They looked around and saw the success shows like True Blood were bringing to HBO and decided to dive-in with Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead. In its first season last year, the network only ordered six episodes, barely enough time to establish characters or plot out an epic arc. The network was cautious due to the high production expense and wanted to see if fans would seek out something they had read or if people would sample zombie-fare in a weekly format.

The experiment paid off as an average of six million people watched each episode last season, making the show one of the most successful scripted shows on basic cable and the network gave it a thirteen episode pickup for this season. Starring Andrew Lincoln as Officer Rick, The Walking Dead is about a zombie epidemic overrunning the world destroying the economy and security that people feel in their lives. The only thing that matters is survival. Rick was shot on the day the epidemic hit the world. Fearing he wouldn’t mike it, his son Carl and wife Lori take off with Rick’s best friend in the police Shane to escape the zombies. Rick miraculously comes through and learns of the destruction zombies are bringing the world.

Season 1 had him find his family and the group of survivors that they had come to live with as one big, irregular family. Little known to Rick, however, was the fact that his wife and Shane engaged in a brief affair after believing he was dead. Other characters of note are Glenn, a tech-wiz young-man that has no fear of going into battle or on missions with Rick, Darryl, a sarcastic smartass who wields a crossbow with the constant goal of hopefully finding his missing brother Meryl after the group of survivors left the racist pig for dead last season, Andrea, a woman who has lost her will to live after witnessing the brutal murder of her sister by the zombies, and Dale, the calm, wise, older force that travels with the survivors and who has a particular interest in Andrea.

The series looks beautiful, as the group moves across the vast, empty, horrifying world with no ending to their terror in sight along with showcasing plenty of blood when the zombies are around. Zombie makeup looks incredible and they can truly be horrifying when there are fifty of them together. Tension lurks around every corner and you never know when the next scare will come from. The premiere this season ended with the shooting of young Carl by an unknown entity.

This season will showcase the group entering Herschel’s Farm, a familiar locale from the graphic novels. Ratings were up 30% for the premiere over last season, meaning the show will be around for years to come. That there is plenty of source material in the comics means there will be plenty of unique story material so that the constant zombie/human chase will never get boring. Kirkman has already deviated from the comics a bit by creating the character of Darryl, so who is to say there won’t be other surprise entrances down the line to keep people guessing about what is coming next.

One wonders when the Rick/Shane/Lori secret will come out and how Carl will survive his gunshot wound. It seems the writers may pair up Shane and Andrea, which has several exciting possibilities.  If you like adrenaline-infused shows that are packed to the gills with thrills and surprised, The Walking Dead is for you. The unique blend of a survival story and terror provide one awesome weekly television experience and you don’t want to be the one missing out on the water cooler discussion come Monday. Hopefully this show’s success will open the door for future graphic novel adaptations to the small screen in the near future. The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 8 PM on AMC.

5 Reasons to Vote Republican in 2012

Rebecca Krawczykowski 3L

Recently the Republican presidential candidates engaged in three debates, wherein they expressed to the American people their basic beliefs, plans for America, and disdain for each other. This article recaps what was said during the September 7, 2011 CNN Debate, September 12, 2011 CNN/Tea Party Express Debate, and September 22, 2011 Fox News/Google Debate. If you vote for President based on a mutual alignment of beliefs and strategies for improving the country, then this article is for you. If you vote for whichever candidate looks the best, then vote for Mitt Romney. In 2012 you should vote Republican if you believe:

1. It is better to let people die than to pay for their health care. In one of the more memorable exchanges of the debates, Ron Paul was given the question: if a healthy 30 year-old man decided not to buy health insurance, and he fell unexpectedly into a coma, what should happen? Paul answered, “He should do what he wants to do, then assume responsibility for it.” “That’s what freedom is all about – taking your own risks.” Then Paul waxed poetic about the old days when “neighbors, friends and churches” would “take care of us.” If you didn’t catch that, Paul inferred that the guy should be denied care and, well, die because he chose not to buy insurance. You might think he is right. It is decidedly unfair that hard-working people should have to pay for that loser’s hospital bills because he was callous and chose to spend his money on iPhones and Xboxes rather than on expensive health insurance. The only solution, however, is to not let those dredges on society even enter the hospitals in the first place. After all, as Ron Paul said, they can just go to their churches and friends for help. Problem solved. If they still insist on hospital care, I suppose people like Ron Paul would just let them die on the sidewalk outside of the ER. Of course, this could pose a problem for Rick Perry’s state of Texas, which currently boasts a 25% uninsured rate. Do they have enough sidewalk space?

2. Science does not matter. Most of the candidates have been blatant about their disdain for the theory of evolution, instead opting to believe (or claim that they believe) that humanity originated 6,000 years ago in the manner stated in the Bible. They also believe that climate change is a myth. In a shocking turn of events, one candidate decided not to pander to the Evangelical vote, and that person is John Huntsman.  He said, “in order for the Republican party to win we can’t run from science and mainstream Republican philosophy.” Republicans need to stop making “comments that don’t reflect the reality of the situation.” And that is exactly why he does not have a chance to win. If he did not have the Evangelical vote before because of his Mormon faith, he certainly does not have it now that he values science and fact over religious belief. Rick Perry believes that “the science is not settled” on climate change. Not settled? Has he not seen the polar bears swimming to their untimely deaths on television?

3. Jobs are more important than clean water, land and air. Ron Paul claims that our manufacturers have gone overseas because “our country has so much regulation.” Herman Cain would eliminate the EPA if he had to choose one governmental regulatory body for elimination. It is obvious that if we did away with environmental regulation, the result would be job growth, because many new manufacturers would choose to open here. It might even solve the unemployment problem…but at what cost? Americans value having clean water to drink and clean air to breathe. If there is no regulation, manufacturers will dump toxic waste into your water supply – no question. That is because manufacturing corporations have no conscience. THEY ARE NOT PEOPLE. And they will do anything to increase profit.

4. We should build a wall to keep “The Mexicans” out. Michele Bachmann wants to build a fence on every foot of the U.S./Mexico border. Mitt Romney contends the same, although he did admit that, “they will always find a way to climb over the fence.” Well, if that is the case, either the wall has to be impenetrable to be effective, i.e. land mine fields around it or sharp shooters stationed at various points, or else we should not build one. If the fence can be climbed, what is the point? Sounds like a corporate welfare opportunity to me. Who is getting the contract? Halliburton? Rick Perry, who is the best qualified to comment on this topic, does not believe in building a fence. I find it ironic that the darling of the GOP, one President Ronald Regan, once so famously said, “Mr. Gorbachev tear down this wall.” Of course the Berlin Wall was more to keep people in than out, and Ronald Regan was a commie pinko liberal compared to these candidates.  Still, erecting a giant wall on one of the two U.S. borders seems entirely un-American to me (not to mention illogical.) And how does that resolve the problem of immigrants overstaying on their visas? Plus, we all know what happens when walls eventually get torn down, and, yes, it involves The Hoff.

5. What this government needs is more, not less, religion. Bachmann claims that “separation of church and state is a myth.” I thought this was a well-settled issue of law, but apparently not in Bachmann’s alternate universe. Rick Santorum said that the repeal of DADT is “social experimentation” and that if he were elected, he would reinstate it. I would challenge anyone to look me in the face and tell me that integrating blacks and whites in the armed forces was social experimentation. How is this any different? And, ahem, when are these Boomers going to realize that the issue of equality for homosexuals is settled. They may not be comfortable with it yet, but our generation is. See, what happens when you raise a generation to believe that “we are all the same inside” yet “our differences make us special,” is that you get a widespread belief of equality for all. Game over.

So if you believe in some or all of the above values, then you should definitely vote Republican in 2012. If you are not convinced, might I also mention that Perry wants Social Security out of the hands of the federal government and into the hands of 50 state governments (who needs it anyway – just let the old folks die poor), Bachmann thinks you should not pay any tax (not sure how that is going to work, but I guess it would end the endless wars), and Paul would get rid of the minimum wage (sigh). Of course, there is always that other Republican candidate; the corporatist, nation-building, wall street friendly, tax cuts for the rich, soft on environmental issues candidate. Barack Obama.

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On September 17, 2011 about 70 Valpo Law students gave up their Saturday morning outlining session (read: Saturday morning cartoons) to volunteer for United Way’s annual Day of Caring. This year Valpo Law worked at Christian Haven in Wheatfield, IN. Christian Haven provides a variety of residential, day treatment, and community based therapeutic programs and services for boys and girls, ages 6-18. One of Christian Haven’s new and popular treatment programs is Equine Therepy. Christian Haven recently built an indoor arena for residents to work with the horses.

The official Day of Caring runs from 9 A.M. until 12:00 P.M. The projects Christian Haven provided the law students included clearing fallen trees from a challenge course, painting a back stop fence, staining the tack shop room, spreading mulch, cleaning the floor in a cooler, clearing out a garage, washing windows, and staining 225 boards of wains coating for phase 2 of the horse arena.

The Student Bar Association organized a lunch with Mike Peterman, Christian Haven’s volunteer coordinator, in order to facilitate students staying later into the afternoon to complete the projects. A few of Christian Haven’s residents were invited to join the law students at the lunch and worked with the law students on the projects. More than half of the 70 volunteers stayed into the afternoon and were able to complete all but one of the larger projects for Christian Haven.

However, the story does not end there. The following saturday a small group of law students gave up another morning of studying in order to volunteer more time at Christian Haven. These students were Sonny Hodgins (3L), Adam Taylor (3L), Shelly Teems (3L), Jessica Whittamore (3L), John Hutchinson (2L), Lakshmi Jayanthi (1L), and Tim Skerrett (Valpo Undergrad). This smaller team cleaned two of the independent living apartments at Christian Haven. Christian Haven provides these apartments to older children about to leave the program in order to teach them how to live on their own.

The Student Bar Association and Christian Haven thanks all the students who gave up whatever time and energy they could to give back to the community. Your good work does not go unnoticed. If you are interested in volunteering at Christian Haven or organizing other community service projects please contact the Student Bar Association Special Events Coordinator Jessica Whittamore at jessica.whittamore@valpo.edu.

By: Steven Cichon, 1L

A few weeks ago President Obama delivered a much-anticipated address to a joint session of Congress.  It’s purpose was to acquaint Americans with Obama’s latest plan to turn the economy around.  CBS News described the plan as a “spending and tax cut initiative expected to cost $447 billion.”

Plenty of people in Congress are skeptical, and they’re not just Republicans. TheHill.com reported that Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin of Illinois said at the moment he does not have enough votes to pass the plan in the Senate.  The Senate is controlled by the Democrats.

When I listened to Obama’s speech, I was left with a feeling that “it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.”  But upon reflection it is much worse.  Obama had to have known ahead of time that the Democrat-controlled Senate would struggle getting 51 votes to pass it, after all he is the leader of the Democratic party, and if the Democrats are going to have problems voting for it, he knows that the Republicans definitely won’t.  The best he can hope for as far as the American Jobs Act getting passed is having Congressional leaders pick out specific portions of it to vote on and pass those.

Instead, I think President Obama is going to use the American Jobs Bill to try to shift blame of the poor economy onto the Republicans, and adopt President Truman’s strategy of running against a “do-nothing Congress.”  The question is, will the public buy it?

Does anyone really think that the economy is going to be saved if President Obama signs in a $447 billion “spending and tax cut initiative?”  Especially after the spectacular failure of the first Stimulus bill, which was supposed to create five million green jobs and keep the unemployment level under eight percent.

It’s sad that the President has cheapened the value of a joint session at Congress.  But tactically, he really has no choice.  Running for the Presidency in 2008, Obama didn’t have a record to run on, and instead ran against Bush’s record.  Now Obama will have a bad economy dragging him down, and his signature domestic achievement, the health care reform, is still unpopular.

Thus the hope and change turns into negative attacks on the opposition.  The plea for civility turns into “let’s take these sons of  (expletive) out,” from union boss Jimmy Hoffa.  And the call for a “post-racial” nation?  Don’t even get me started.

The American Jobs Act is the beginning of the 2012 election.  We are more than a year out.

It’s going to be a long twelve months.

by Caitlin Broo

Sometimes when I look back on my misspent youth, my mind will linger on my time as a peewee soccer player. My first team was named the Michelanglos, named for the best ninja turtle in history. In truth, I was simply terrible soccer player. As one of the least coordinated kid in history, I should have tried another hobby as a kid. I can still recall those sweltering summers, springs, and falls when I would be shuttled from field to field playing a game I hated. From the uncomfortable cleats to the pesky shin guards, I detested all things soccer.

When I went to college “Futbol” was the hipster thing to watch. It was the cool, European thing and I found myself dragged out of my nice warm dorm many a morning to partake in the games by my soccer nuts friends. I was a good person and kept my festering loathing to myself. But no more, I must speak up for those of us who just don’t get what the great big fuss is about.

I have many problems with the soccer. First, why does the clock count up? This questions bothers me most of all. All game clocks must count down it is a sports law. A clock that counts up robs a sporting match of so much tension. Who doesn’t sit on the edge their seat watching helplessly as the clock ticks down while your beloved team is behind by one point? When the clock ticks up, the urgency vanishes. Plus there are no breaks! How is a fan supposed to go to the bathroom or get a snack?

Second, I will admit I have watched enough soccer to know that there is a thing called the offside rule. Simply put the there always must be a defender between one player and the goal. So, unlike hockey, there are no breakaways. No heart racing moment when the player races down the field with only the goal tender in his path. Nope, instead you have that sweeper (a position I hated as a kid but frequently played) between you and the goalie at all times.

Third, it is a very boring game. 99.9999999% of a soccer game involves a bunch of grown men playing keep away at midfield. Commentary for a soccer game is a little like “Rooney pass to Beckham, Beckham passes to Cloverfield, and Cloverfield passes to Williams” etc. It never ends. All this back and forth, back and forth for maybe 2 minutes of scoring action, does make for a good spectator sport. Sure, I know hockey can be low scoring and comprised mostly of passing. But Hockey players do it on ice, on skates. I’d like to see David Beckham try that.

There are so many reasons why I detest soccer. Sure it might all stem from that time I took a soccer ball to the mouth when I was 8, the fact that I never got picked for the select team, or fifty million laps I ran in practice. But it is so much more than my petty squabbles from childhood.  Yes, it might be a cheap game to play and it appeals to so many because it is easy to play informally. But I still think I don’t hate many things and I am not a person to throw that word around liberally. However, I do hate and I freely admit these are irrational hatreds. I hate waking up early on a weekend. I hate washing socks and folding laundry. Most of all, I hate soccer.